fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
