I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
