There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i already hear my dad disowning me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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