I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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