Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
