absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
