Are we in a gay sports bar?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So much Jack, so little girl.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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