I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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