So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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