how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
