She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
