Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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