Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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