i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
