My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
