Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
