I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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