If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
