No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
