i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
