I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
