I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
