We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
