so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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