The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Randomize
