Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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