We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
