i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
