I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
