Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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