I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
