My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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