Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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