the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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