Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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