Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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