this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
