Whod you bang
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
