On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
