You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
