____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
