I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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