Someone shit on the floor
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
