I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
