Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I stole a fireplace last night.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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