am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
