Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
