watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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