why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
