Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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