just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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